I had my orientation for grad school yesterday. It was incredibly overwhelming, I am almost embaressed to reveal how nervous I was for it. Since nervousness is not a feeling I have very much, its always doubly unnerving whenever it strikes me. I had no idea what to wear (buisness casual? Jeans and a nice shirt? Interview dressy?) and made myself mad for getting so worked up about it. I just felt (and know) I could have done so much better in undergrad – I really wanted to start off right in grad school, even if this was just an orientation.
Walking into a roomful of people that you don’t know never fails to give me a squishy feeling in my stomach. When I was younger I used to thrive on these situations, fearlessly walking up to whatever poor soul was in my path and boldly saying hello. That bold and slightly crazy version of myself started disappearing somewhere around high school and was jaded out of me by college. Now, I dislike making awkward small talk with strangers, both of you realizing you really need to make an effort to speak and realize the other is probably also totally uncomfortable. So after checking in at the main table, I squared my shoulders and walked into the big conference room faltering at the entrance. What table should I sit at? I mean, this could dictate how my day goes, introduce me to potential friends and set up networking for years to come. Yes, that’s how crazy my brain is that I think of these things. So I settled on a table in the middle towards the back at which only one girl sat who looked pretty normal.
I shouldn’t have freaked out so much about making awkward talk. I sat down and her and I started talking right away. Where were we from? What program were we in? What about housing? and so on. Our table soon filled up with girls – most of them in the Archive program, but there was one other girl at the table in my dual degree program. We all got along really well and talked very easily, comparing hometowns, apartment hunting experiences and also commiserated about money and the intensity of the program. It was such a relief to get along with these girls since I’m going to be seeing a lot of them the next few years!
The actual orientation was alright. Lots of boring, but useful information. After lunch I got my ID, and chatted some more with the girl that was in my program. I also met with my advisor – Amy Pattee. I really, really, really like her. She said a bit to the group earlier in the day and said that she doesn’t particuarly like kids, and takes people on a case to case basis – yet she loved being a children’s librarian. YES!!!! I felt like jumping up and pumping my fist! She also pulled me aside after she met with the youth services/dual degree students and said that she had seen Phil Nel (K-state prof. who wrote me a letter of recommendation) at a conference and said she remembered he had written for me and wanted to tell him she was advising me but blanked on my name. I told her I was just happy she remembered me!
The worst part of the day was hearing that I should really only work 15 hours a week. Hello financial aide my old friend. I have come to borrow from you again. Sigh.
After orientation (and an hour long chat with mom! Miss you mom!) I met up with my sister, kyle and John Miller and went to the Red Sox game. Kyle and John Miller are friends from K-state who are HUGE Red Sox fans. When they first found out I was moving to Boston they were so mad and jealous, but quickly figured out they could crash at my apartment and save loads of money. They came in on Sunday and Kyle bought me and Erin tickets to the game as a thank you for letting them stay on our futons. It was great to see some familiar faces!! It was pretty neat to see the stadium, the only problem was it was 60 degrees and FREEZING. In the middle of July. That is just not right.
Miss you all!!!
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